Reality and reflection June 9 2015

The purpose of the "After the sirens" presentation was to share what I went through during my battle with poor health so that other uniformed responders might be better versed on;

• the truths about being overwhelmed by stress
• the illnesses that can manifest from stress
• the stigma attached to suffering from stress
• how my employer and insurer both failed miserably in helping me despite the fact I found the strength to stand up and say "I need help"

During the May "After the sirens" campaign I hoped to reach out to a wide audience and give an honest account of my experience. In the process I also hoped that some of my residual emotional wounds might  heal a little bit more, and that I would get a little bit more of "me" back. In all of these I have succeeded, but not to the extent I had hoped.

I did, as advertised deliver the "After the sirens" presentation on May 10^th in my current hometown of Cole Hbr, and again on the 11^th in Fredericton, NB., and it was after the Fredericton presentation I realized that interest in hearing about my experiences with stress related illness within the uniformed responder community was virtually non existent.

 

At the Cole Harbour presentation, in attendance were; my girlfriend, my mother, my two closest aunts, and one EMS colleague. So the score was Family 4, Responders 1. (There was also one young woman in an EMS cap who was utilizing the library, but she chose not to make her way into the room).

The Fredericton turnout was 2 paramedics and 1 no show who apologized by email for forgetting about the presentation.

Until Fredericton I had been cautiously optimistic that despite the fact very few email confirmations had been received, there would be many who would just show up. Turns out that was not the case at all, so with costs mounting and interest dwindling I cancelled the remaining presentations that had been tentatively scheduled for the month of May and put my focus towards the June presentation at the Arizona EMS conference.

 

I did not however cancel the rest of my trip South because the primary goals of the trip in addition to delivering the presentation were for me to actively manage my stress by doing the two things that safely bring me back to the baseline, those being spending time on my Harley, and being behind the viewfinder of my camera gear. I will continue sharing my experiences and my images on www.riverpiratephotography.blogspot.com once I get back and settled and rehydrated from my days in the desert. 

 

Tomorrow I head for Phoenix and the Arizona EMS Odyssey conference where I'll deliver what might very well be the last of the "After the sirens" presentations, and I'm very much OK with that.

 

Maybe hearing my story and receiving my message has made / will make a difference in the lives of just one of those in attendance.

Perhaps someday down the road someone in uniform will hear third or fourth hand of my journey to the brink and back and will wisely recognize it's a route best avoided and has the strength to ask for assistance.

If this indeed happens, I have succeeded.

 

It took me several years to build the strength to stand up and tell my story, and regardless of how many agencies didn't share the opportunity with their uniformed responders, and no matter how many didn't take the opportunity to show up, at the end of the day, I can proudly and humbly say I tried.